Safe Spaces: The Uncomfortable Truth for Healthcare Leaders and Families
Jul 21, 2024Read time 5 minutes (Based on Safe Space Made Simple Podcast Episode #36)
Ever felt like you're walking on eggshells with someone on your team at work or the dinner table?
You're not alone, and there's a twist you never saw coming.
Today, we're shattering the myth of "safe spaces" that's holding back healthcare leaders and their teams – at work and home.
The Safe Space Trap: Are You Falling For It?
Here's a mind-bender: true safety isn't about feeling comfortable. Shocked? So was I.
We've been fed the lie that safe spaces mean never feeling challenged or uneasy. But here's the kicker: Real safety comes from showing up as your authentic self and sharing your perspective even when it feels like you're walking a tightrope without a net.
This misconception costs you – in team performance, patient care, and even personal relationships.
The Old Playbook Is Failing You
Let's get real. How many of these hit home?
- You bite your tongue in meetings or conversations to "keep the peace"
- You tiptoe around your family member to avoid rocking the boat
- You end each day feeling unheard, drained and angry
If you're nodding, you're not alone. I've been there, both as a healthcare leader, as a parent and as a spouse. It's exhausting and, worse, holding you back from reaching your true potential.
The Four Levels of Engagement: Your New Secret Weapon
Buckle up. Here's a framework that will revolutionize how you navigate every interaction, from the boardroom to the living room:
- Drama: Your gut reaction (e.g., "This policy change is ridiculous!")
- Situation: Your problem-solving mode ("How can we make this work?")
- Choice: Your moment of truth ("Who do I choose to be right now?")
- Opportunity: Your growth mindset ("What can we learn from this?")
The Four Levels of Engagement is a self-coaching tool that was created by Alan Seale, the founder and director of the Center for Transformational Presence. When you master this tool, it automatically becomes a tool you can use to lead, coach and train the people around you no matter what realm of life you encounter. I've used this tool with executives, leaders, my partner, sister, teenage daughters, and senior parents. When you approach problems with tools like this, you create a safe space for yourself, your team, and your loved ones.
Your Roadmap to Authentic Communication
- Acknowledge Your Initial Reaction
- Notice when you're in "drama" mode
- In healthcare: "I'm frustrated with these new regulations"
- At home: "I'm annoyed that my partner is late again"
- Step Back and Observe
- Move from drama to situation
- In healthcare: "What's the rationale behind these changes?"
- At home: "What might be causing this pattern?"
- Make a Conscious Choice
- Decide who you want to be in this moment
- In healthcare: "How can I lead my team through this transition?"
- At home: "How can I address this issue constructively?"
- Embrace the Opportunity
- See the interaction as a chance for growth
- In healthcare: "How might this challenge improve our patient care?"
- At home: "What can this teach us about our communication?"
From Skeptic to Believer: My Journey
I used to think I was the master of conflict avoidance, both in leadership and at home. I would use communication, explanation, "common sense," logic, and "This is in your best interests." approaches with everyone I encountered personally and professionally. That approach worked, and then it didn't. My kids grew up and decided they didn't want to listen to me anymore, and the people I worked with had their agendas as their primary focus.
Plot twist: I was actually stunting everyone's growth, including my own, by missing the most important thing I was missing—relational equity. I hit a relational wall because I had zero equity with the people around me. I was reacting to my own anxiety and fear instead of developing connection and closeness.
When I started applying a more truthful approach with my team and family, it felt like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. I started to tell the truth instead of avoiding or manipulating. The results? Nothing short of transformative.
Our team meetings became hotbeds of innovation and collaboration because people started having each other's backs and mine! My relationships with my daughters deepened beyond measure. We all grew – professionally and personally.
Your Burning Questions, Answered
"But what if my team (or family) can't handle raw honesty?"
Truth bomb: That's not your burden to bear. By showing up authentically, you're giving others the gift of growth. They learn to deal with their internal feelings, activations and challenges, and you support them by dealing with your own and holding them capable of dealing with theirs—even when they're uncertain if they can.
"This feels too risky in a healthcare setting."
It might at first. But ask yourself: What's the cost of perpetuating a culture of silence? In patient safety? In staff burnout? What will your career longevity be if you don't get real with yourself and others?
The Future Is Yours: Authentic Communication in Action
Imagine a world where:
- You speak your truth in meetings without fear
- Your team innovates freely, improving patient outcomes
- You have deep, meaningful conversations with your loved ones
This isn't a pipe dream – it can be your new reality.
Your Next Step: From Reading to Doing
Ready to revolutionize your leadership and your life? Here's your action step:
In your next team meeting or family dinner, consciously move through the Four Levels of Engagement. Notice how it shifts the dynamic.
Then, come back and share your experience. What surprised you? What challenged you?
Why You Can Trust This Approach
I'm Trace Hobson, a veteran leader and host of the "Safe Space Made Simple" podcast. I've implemented these principles in high-stakes environments and my own family life. The transformation I've witnessed is nothing short of remarkable.
Let's Connect
How do you navigate difficult conversations in your healthcare role or at home? I'm eager to hear your experiences and insights.
Remember, true safety isn't about avoiding discomfort – it's about embracing authenticity, even when it feels risky.
Here's to creating genuine, safe spaces in healthcare and beyond,
See you next week!
P.S. Ready to dive deeper? Listen to Episode #36 of Safe Space Made Simple, where we explore real-world applications of these principles in healthcare settings and personal relationships. Available in both audio and video formats at [link to podcast].
