How to Create Safe Spaces in High-Stress Environments—Like Families!

My family was not a safe space.

In today's fast-paced world, psychological health and safety are more than buzzwords; they're essential for thriving teams, workplaces and families. Yet, achieving this goes beyond just talking about it—it requires a deep, committed presence.

If you can't be present, you can't create a safe space for yourself or anyone else.

The Problem with Traditional Approaches to Psychological Safety

Most leaders know the importance of psychological health and safety, but few understand how to operationalize it. Most often, leaders fall into one of three traps:

1. Talking Without Action: They discuss the importance of psychological safety but fail to embody it. Meetings and initiatives are filled with jargon and policies, yet the core issue remains unaddressed—being present and engaged with their team members.

2. Being Too Busy: Leaders are often overwhelmed with back-to-back meetings and never-ending to-do lists. This busyness prevents them from being genuinely present, leading to a disconnect with their team.

3. Superficial Engagement: Leaders might listen, but it's often to wait for their turn to speak or to check off a box. This lack of genuine engagement can make team members feel undervalued and unsupported.

These approaches can lead to significant consequences:

• Decreased Trust: When leaders fail to be present, team members question their sincerity and commitment, leading to a lack of trust.
• Increased Stress: Team members feel more stressed and isolated without genuine support.
• Reduced Productivity: A lack of psychological safety can stifle creativity and productivity, as team members are less likely to take risks or share innovative ideas.
• Leadership Crash: Leaders who don't know how to create a safe space for themselves never experience the systemic effect that can have on their team. It creates scalable well-being that starts with them if they learn to generate this for themselves and an inevitable crash if they don't.

Why Presence Matters

When leaders are fully present, they address three intrinsic questions that team members constantly ask:

1. Am I accepted and supported here?
2. Does my leader care about me as a human being?
3. Can I trust my leader to be consistent?

When you show up with your presence, it answers "Yes" to these questions without saying one word or "doing" anything—the key is being present.

My Counterintuitive (but Effective) Approach

So what's my solution? It's a counterintuitive approach that emphasizes the power of presence.

Here's how it works:

1. Be Fully Present

Focus on Being Present: Instead of rushing through interactions, be genuinely present with your team. This means putting away distractions, listening with your whole body, and being aware of all the times when you aren't aware so you can be more aware.

Action Step: Dedicate time to connect with your team. Be aware of the distractions you find difficult, be present with them, and notice what transforms.

2. Practice Acceptance

Unconditional Acceptance: Accept yourself and others unconditionally. Contrary to popular belief, this builds trust and respect and creates opportunities for "difficult conversations."

Action Step: Reflect on your interactions and identify any biases or judgments you may hold. Notice them and practice letting them go so you can communicate with power rather than reaction, resistance, inclusiveness or retaliation.

3. Foster Trust

Build and Maintain Trust Create an environment where trust is built and maintained. This means consistency, reliability, and transparency in your actions and communications.

Action Step: Schedule regular check-ins to discuss the team's progress and any concerns. Make these conversations about the team's collective vision and purpose, not just individual tasks.

Real-Life Presence When It's Hard

During the COVID-19 pandemic, my family practiced regular Zoom calls to stay connected. We had been practicing these calls for a few years, so we were ready, but we were and are an unlikely success story with this. My parents struggled with addiction and gambling from the time that I was 6. My younger sister and I were left alone or with people who didn't want us, and as time went on, we were exposed to more and more dangerous impacts because of that. Many of the things that happened were not healed or resolved with normal interventions, but somehow, as a result of creating a safe space together, we made progress that defied the odds. In the Safe Space Podcast this week, I share an excerpt of one of our family calls for you to get a sense of what can happen when you put the principles from this article into action.

Listen to the podcast on Tuesday morning at 5:00 AM PST or watch the early access video here in this post.

Final Thoughts

When leaders prioritize presence, they not only answer the intrinsic questions of their team members but also create an environment ripe for transformation. Whether it's personal growth, professional development, or changes you want to see in your family, a safe space nurtures the potential within everyone.

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Safe Space Team Building Workshops:   Are you an executive leader dealing with burnout and low retention? A healthcare manager with disengaged teams? Or a clinical leader facing staff resistance? Our 4-hour Safe Space Team Building Workshops can help. Join over 1,500 healthcare professionals who've experienced the transformation of team cohesion by fostering workshops that foster respect, trust, and support that make your job easier. Reach out today to book a workshop and improve your team's culture.

2. Safe Space Group & Team Coaching: Are you struggling with burnout, retention, or morale? Safe Space Systemic Group and Team Coaching can help. Join over 1,000 healthcare leaders who've transformed their practices with psychological and neurobiological safety. Through group and team coaching, you'll learn to create a workplace where everyone feels safe, connected, and energized. Unlock 25 years of expertise with proven methods and actionable strategies. Transform your leadership and your team's well-being today.

3. Safe Space Training & Mentorship:  Are you struggling with burnout, retention, or morale? Safe Space Training and Mentorship can help. Join over 500 healthcare leaders who've transformed their practices by integrating safe space-informed coaching. Learn to emotionally regulate, co-regulate, and lead with psychological and neurobiological safety as your foundation. Transform your healthcare system by first transforming the one system you fully control—yourself. Direct message me to arrange a consultation and start your journey today.