READ TIME 4 MINUTES

How to Navigate Toxic Team Members

Change Stressful Interactions into Systemic Shifts with 3 Practical Steps

Ever feel stuck doing the same thing over and over again with toxic, unaware people hoping for something to work? Do you have recurring frustrations or irritations with people on your team who either don’t care to change or make you wonder if they can?

We’ve all been there. Anyone who’s led, managed or worked in high-stress complex environments will have a story about toxic interactions with colleagues, reports, leaders, managers and team members.

It's not easy to create a healthy culture when there are members (or leaders) who do not care to know or are simply unconscious of their negative impact on people around them.

So, what is the key to change? Generating a psychologically and neurobiologically safe space in the only place you have control of—you. This is the gateway to rapid sustainable transformation that is systemic, because it starts within the one system that is constantly trying to get you to work with it—your body.

Unfortunately, 95% of people use out-of-date communications and performance management approaches that will never work without a systemic safe space foundation.

This mindset leads to hours of wasted time and energy on strategies that never work for long and also points blame at the wrong person. It can feel powerful to point a finger at a toxic person and feel justified in doing it, but that's the weakest thing you can do as a starting point. Why? Because when you point a finger you give away all of your power to that person. You can only stop if that person changes—and that might never happen. This is why when you point a finger, you have three pointing back at you as a reminder that you are where all your power resides and nowhere else.

People who are navigating toxic environments have to take radical responsibility for what is going on so that their response-ability to toxic situations and people transforms from weak and ineffectual to powerful and unattached to what other people are doing.

Let’s dive into how you can do that.

3 Steps to Handle Toxicity on Clinical Teams

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Boundaries are crucial. They’re not about shutting others out but about understanding and communicating your limits. When someone is consistently toxic, knowing what you can handle and clearly conveying your limits is essential. This isn’t just about protecting yourself; it’s about maintaining a healthy work environment.

Action Step: Reflect on what you need to thrive and communicate these needs clearly, along with the consequences of what happens if they’re not respected. For example, let’s say you have someone who comes to you with all the “dirt” on people, and you’re done with it. Tell the person that you have decided that it does not serve you, what you need and want instead and that you are not going to make yourself available for that, and if they bring it up, you’re going to shut it down politely and respectfully.

2. Enroll Toxic Team Members Into the Shared Team Vision: Everyone needs to know the big picture. Sometimes, when people are out of sync with the team’s purpose and vision, they can become distracted by things that aren’t important and that get in the way of the overall vision and purpose of the team. This unifying activity helps people focus on the primary purpose of their team rather than personality differences or conflicts. When there is a clear primary purpose, it transcends everyone, and it doesn’t matter if people like each other or not.

Action Step: Schedule regular check-ins to discuss the team’s progress toward its goals. Make these conversations about the team’s collective vision and purpose, not just individual tasks.

3. Let Go of Expectations and Consequences: Sometimes, despite your best efforts, not everyone will get on board. And that’s okay. The key is to let go of expectations and focus on what you can control—your actions and reactions. You can also take comfort in the fact that you have done everything you can, regardless of what others might think. Consequences are a natural part of life. When you are a steward of a bigger purpose than yourself, you are responsible for championing those consequences with compassion, kindness and tenacity.

Action Step: Practice self-differentiation. Understand that you can’t control others but can control your response to them. Stay true to your values and let the chips fall where they may. Don’t think that you need your team to like what you’re doing—you don’t—and shouldn’t need their approval.

What we get wrong about Safe Spaces

Many people think creating a safe space means tolerating everything and singing chorus after chorus of kumbaya in a politically correct way that everyone gets gold stars and first place ribbons world. Not true. A safe space is about fostering open, honest clear communication and ensuring everyone feels included, respected and heard. It’s about courage and curiosity, not complacency.

Key Insight: Psychological safety means approaching tough conversations with empathy and clarity. It’s about creating a culture where people feel safe to speak up and take risks. Neurobiological safety means that everyone is responsible for working systemically within themselves to generate a safe space within and recognize that when they do, it has a systemic effect beyond them.

Radical Responsibility that Feeds Response Ability

When dealing with toxicity, the focus should be on radical responsibility—taking full ownership of your activations (aka triggers), reactions, and actions. This shifts the dynamic from blame to empowerment and cutting-edge systemic leadership development.

Action Step: Notice your internal dialogue when dealing with difficult team members. Are you blaming them for your frustration? Do you notice an internal dialogue or feeling in your body that is difficult, critical, filled with complaints and a stance that is not serving you or them? Shift the focus to what wants to happen in your system, what characteristic is developing in you, and what the first step that new way of being is asking you to take.

Congruent, Coherent, Clear Communication

Once you do the above, you will have more clarity about what is happening within you. This is especially true of anything you are out of alignment with that is important to you. At first, this might just show up as a feeling in your body, but as you dialogue with your system, it will become clear to you what you need to do to be more congruent, coherent and clear within yourself. When this happens your communication with everyone else is more powerful. Now it;’s time to be upfront about what’s working and what isn’t. Address issues directly and kindly. This transparency builds trust and dismantles the fear that often fuels toxicity. 

Key Insight: Regular, honest communication can preempt many issues. People need to know where they stand and what’s expected of them—but you have to get clear first to do that effectively. 

Conclusion and Action Steps

Tackling toxicity in the workplace is about creating an environment where everyone feels safe to be themselves and to grow—starting with you!

Here’s a quick recap:

1. Set clear, personal boundaries.
2. Enroll your team in a shared vision.
3. Let go of unmet expectations and consequences to focus on your response.

Following these steps can transform your team dynamics and foster a healthier, more productive work environment.

Action Step: Dedicate 15 minutes daily to connect with someone on your team that triggers you. Change your "open door policy" to a closed door policy—close your door behind you and be present with that person to learn about yourself.

Podcast Highlight: Listen to this newsletter theme on our podcast episode that comes out on Tuesday morning at 5:00 AM PST

How to Navigate Toxic Team Members

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Safe Space Team Building Workshops:   Are you an executive leader dealing with burnout and low retention? A healthcare manager with disengaged teams? Or a clinical leader facing staff resistance? Our 4-hour Safe Space Team Building Workshops can help. Join over 1,500 healthcare professionals who've experienced the transformation of team cohesion by fostering workshops that foster respect, trust, and support that make your job easier. Reach out today to book a workshop and improve your team's culture.

2. Safe Space Group & Team Coaching: Are you struggling with burnout, retention, or morale? Safe Space Systemic Group and Team Coaching can help. Join over 1,000 healthcare leaders who've transformed their practices with psychological and neurobiological safety. Through group and team coaching, you'll learn to create a workplace where everyone feels safe, connected, and energized. Unlock 25 years of expertise with proven methods and actionable strategies. Transform your leadership and your team's well-being today.

3. Safe Space Training & Mentorship:  Are you struggling with burnout, retention, or morale? Safe Space Training and Mentorship can help. Join over 500 healthcare leaders who've transformed their practices by integrating safe space-informed coaching. Learn to emotionally regulate, co-regulate, and lead with psychological and neurobiological safety as your foundation. Transform your healthcare system by first transforming the one system you fully control—yourself. Direct message me to arrange a consultation and start your journey today.